The Midnight News 8.06.01
Posted By Hyatte on 08.06.01
X-Pac, Goldberg, the Comeback kid, The Kat, The MECW Guy, the MECW site, Scherer, Ryder, and Message Board Mayhem and/or Madness.
Man... I had the strangest weekend.
No, seriously... you would REALLY like to hear what went down over the last few days.
I'm sure I'll tell you ALL about it... someday.
Jammed pack line-up today... so let's get right to it
X-PAC TALKS WHILE CONTINUING TO SUCK
This made it's rounds around the web already, but it certainly bears a recap.
X-Pac gave a very frank interview with WWF.com (I ain't linking a billion hit site, thank you). It's either a brilliant character developer, or the boy be SHOOTIN' a little!
-He begins by saying he proved himself by beating Kidman for a unified Cruiserlight unified belt. He bragged that he beat Hulk Hogan once, so losing to Kidman at Invasion was a bit of an embarrassment.
-He said that their Invasion match was supposed to be longer, but they had to cut it down some and that affected the in-ring story they were trying to tell.
-He would like to see more emphasis on the light heavyweights, but chances are Vince will follow form and not do it.
-He agreed to compete in the light heavyweight division because he thought they would build it up. It doesn't seem to be happening, so he just does it to get PAID, muthaf**ka.
-He says he is THE heel of the company, him and Triple H. Triple H is gone now, so it's just him. So don't bother cheering him (wasn't much of a problem there, sport).
-He DOES love being a good guy... and if he is turned babyface, he'll "out-babyface damn near anybody in the company". He swears he knows how to do it. (I'd LOVE to see that challenge taken up)
-He'll be anything... he just loves wrestling.
-He griped about the swift dissection of X-Factor with no aftershocks or storylines. Says he liked working with Albert.
-He continued to talk up Albert's dedication.
-He thinks the Rock's return will be positive for the company. (get OUT!!), but he thinks some fans resent him for making movies. He swears he heard boos when the Rock went out there for the first time.
-They wrapped up by talking about politics. You know where to go if you care to read that. I have a LOT more crap to do here.
Okay, it wasn't a SHOOT, shoot... but he spoke honestly.
GOLDBERG IS COMING!!!!! EXCLUSIVE!!!!
I THINK no one else has this... in a 411 EXCLUSIVE REPORT... BILL GOLDBERG HAS FINALLY AGREED...
To show up at a celebrity Flag Football game at Mile High Stadium in Denver on September 15th. Joe Montana and John Elway will also be there.
I am not proud of this cheap little ploy... I want you to know.
The Rocky Mountain News reported this.
THE MAN THEY USED TO CALL AL
Remember that guy in the 80's who had runs in World Class, WCW, and I believe the WWF? That sure-fire... can't miss... blue chipper named Al Perez? The one everyone had pegged for greatness? The one who's one gimmick, no matter where he went, was the "Superstar-In-The-Making? Remember him? Whatever happened to Al Perez?
Well, The Observer announced that he's working a date on September 9th for Liberty All Star Wrestling in Philadelphia.
Those close to Perez SWEARS that he is FINALLY about to become a star and put al that potential to use!!
I say it was the Spinning Toe-Hold finisher he used. Jesus, not even terry Funk could sell that dumb-ass move as potent... THE GODDAM LEG KEPT SLIPPING OUT OF THE GUY'S GRASP!!!
"OWW OWWW MY KN... oh geeze, wrap it again so I can sell, you goober! There you go... *sigh* ow oww I give"
SPRING CHICKEN?? FRESH LETTUCE??
For those who waited all weekend for the news... for those DYING for this info...
In Memphis, Tennessee... on September 29th, a young bundle of jow named Stacey Carter was born. Before the century was over, she would have married, and then separated from Jerry "The King" Lawler... with the divorce pending.
The year? 1971.
She's is less than two months from turning 31.
Meaning that twelve years ago, she was... umm.... 19!!
Lawler STILL should be ashamed of himself... just not behind bars while doing so.
Lucky old guy. DAMN, she looked good.
THE MAN WHO WOULD BE VINCE?
1wrestling posted an Internet radio show interview with John Collins, owner of this MECW that everyone's wondering about. Is he the real deal, or will we be reading him explain to a Jury how he likes to get drunk at strip clubs while his wife goes all lezbo on a dancer in a couple of years? Time will tell.
-Collins says that MECW has actually been around for a while now... a few years. This is NOT a new company. (ah yes, that "invisible" company that everyone was talking about... they never could fill a tent show.)
-They will be an interactive company... after shows they'll announce where they will be hanging out so fans can come and approach them (RATS WELCOMED!!! BE SURE TO BRING YOUR HERPES!!). They'll be doing frequent Internet chats as well.
-Promised that personal appearance fees will go right to charity. (Yes, expect the "Inmyowndamnpocket Foundation to become very popular with the boys)
-Bobby Heenan, Mark Madden, Don Callis, Cheech Marin, Terry Funk, and Joey Styles are all a virtual LOCK for various announcer jobs!! (well, he DID say he talked to them)
-He thinks the Sandman is a very underestimated man who can and will perform duties in the ring and in the office. (Isn't that Tommy Fierro's gimmick?)
-Says that Tracy Smothers will have a huge role in their Southern division.
-He would love to have Kevin Nash and Shane Douglas on board... spoke well of Douglas's talents. (whoof... he'll grab any name)
-Already, he's getting 20 tapes a day from interested wrestlers, and plans on bringing in Japanese talent. (*boing*... there goes various peckers from the DVD posters)
You know... the guy's game plan sounds pretty good, actually.
While we are on the subject....
HOW MUCH IS THAT ADDY IN THE WINDOW 98?(ARF ARF)
I picked up on this while scouring message boards.... I thought you might like to know this...
Go to www.mecw.com and you'll see this (in more bolder and larger fonts...)
MECW.COM
MECW.NET
MECW.ORG
MECW.CO.UK
The above domain names are for sale as a package.
I am taking offers at ~Afternic.com
m.e.c.w. is an acronym for many things.
A sampling from the search engines:
Michigan Emergency Center for Women
Marx-Engels Collected Works
Middle Eastern Cable & Wireless
Middle Eastern Championship Wrestling
Mile End Climbing Wall
MorsE & Continuous Wave
Maine(ME) Coach Works
Maine(ME) Cable & Wireless
Master of Education Course Work
Military Encyclopedia of Conventional Weapons
Midwest Environmental Chemistry Workshop
Modern Encyclopedia of Country & Western
etc.
*The Buyer will be responsible for an escrow fee of 5% of the winning amount*
I will pay all transfer fees.
To place a bid go to ~Afternic.com
MECW.tv & MECW.cc also available.
If you have any further questions email me at:
davethebox@excite.com
Heh... I love it.
SCHERER CLARIFIES
"Enjoy it while you can. The free site will be closing soon and when it does, it will make us feel goo to know that scumbags like you can't read it anymore. When you move out of your parents basement and get a job, you will finally see why people need to be paid for their work. Luckily, no one will heckle you when you change the Slurpee bag.'
-- I guess if you don't want to pay for the 1wrestling 'service', you are eternally a 16 year that works at 7-11 and a scumbag."
That's what Dave Scherer told someone last week... like I reported.
Well, people asked the man... one guy in particular got an answer via the site's bulletin board... keep an eye on a MAJOR SHERER GAFFE CONCERNING HIS TARGET... I boldfaced the part.
Hey Chris, I went to the 1bob BB and asked Scherer if the whole thing about shutting down the free site was true. Here's his response:
"Here is the scoop. The person sent me an email that was so vulgar that it got under my skin. It was extremely insulting, to say the least. The person also complained about the fact that we had 'so many ads' on the site. He called us whores, among other things that I will not repeat here.
We have made it very clear recently why the site was loaded with ads, due to the situation with advertising on the internet being the way it is. People can read if they choose to, or not read it all. He said he was going to use ad blocking software to screw us over. So, I reacted. I believe what I wrote was that if the free site closed down, it would do my heart good that scumbags like him wouldn't be able to read it anymore.
I definitely wrote the part about the Slurpee bags, which I still think it pretty funny. Was it childish, perhaps. But, anyone who knows me will tell you that I treat people the way that they treat me. I occasionally will write a nasty email back to people who write to me that way.
Unfortunately, I get about 300 emails a week that are just downright nasty from clowns like the guy who wrote this one. Sometimes, they rub me the wrong way. Obviously, that was his intent since he then posted it on the internet, which is about as unethical as anyone could possibly be. So, the moral of this story is, the free site is not closing down, though clowns on the net who hate us, for whatever reason, will continue saying that it is because it makes them feel better to do so.
The funny thing is, if we really did leave, they would have so much left to talk about and it would then make them mad that we were gone."
Love the Midnight News. Thanks. Name withheld.
No, No, NO!!! I DIDN'T WRITE TO YOU, YOU STUPID BOOB!!! I DEFENDED YOUR ATTACK ON HIM!!!!! HE SENT ME THE LETTER ON HIS OWN!!!!
ARRRRGH.... he is such a creep!!!
So, the fee site is staying put... and he thinks I send him letters harassing him, Bob, and all the damn pop-ups. OY.
Y'know, I think ol' Dave is so used to being verbally berated, he has the "Abused Dog Syndrome" lift a newspaper towards his nose and he reacts viciously.
For the record... the Pop-Ups are NECESSARY for them.... and since they break more news then Keller and Meltzer COMBINED on any given week, it is an annoyance one can LIVE WITH.
Ugh... he is such a.... OOPHAA.
Actually, Bob himself isn't that bad a guy, so long as you speak to him normally and not bitch or yell at him.
Speaking of which...
SIX DEGREES OF RYDER FAKIN
Not sure if you noticed...
The Von Erich family is by many considered to be the patriarch of the wrestling world... the members of the family that are recognized by most are Kevin, David, Mike, Fritz and to many old school fans, Waldo
Where's Waldo is a popular game where children of all ages attempt to find the fictional character called "Waldo"
The phrase "children of all ages" was popularized by carnival workers, who also would use the term "kayfabe", which is a word commonly used in the wrestling community.
Vince McMahon, by and large, has been credited for breaking down the walls of "kayfabe", which with the birth of the Internet led to a boom in Internet Wrestling websites.
The downfall of Internet websites has led to certain sites charging a premium for "insider news"
The first site to charge was 1wrestling.com
A website owned by BOB
Six Degrees of Ryder Fakin
Damn... Bob really is the center of sports entertainment!
BUT, PLUGS
HUGE line-up of plugs today... LOTS of awesome stuff..
Danny Birdwell digs deep into his recap of
Tough Enoughand comes to the conclusion that no one at Survivor should be losing any sleep... but those creeps at The Mole should be very, verrry nervous!
Who is Danny Brower? How should I know? What I do know is that he is recapping
Jakkedand he lives in Chicago, but don't hold that against him. Unless he worships Mancow... then he is to be scorned and ridiculed.
Who is Carlos Mahaud? The F**K should I know? What I DO know is that he recapped
Heatand I also know that when someone is lucky enough to be named "Carlos".... he usually can have his PICK of horny white babes! BOOYAAA!!!!
Two new staffers recapping two of the worse shows for free... I can only IMAGINE what Widro had to promise them in order to get them to do these gigs.... heh heh HAHAHAHAHAAAAAW
Onto straight columns, (not to say recapping is GAY or anything... I myself having made quite the rep on recapping) Foot On The Ropes is Bryce McNeil's column. This week, Bryce looks at the dual careers of The Rock and makes a pretty good comparison to Hogan's 80's heyday. Good work from the "Brycester"....
I'll be honest, I never understood why Josh Nason would name his column
Fight Club, but I don't care so long as he keeps churning out quality work. Josh examines this upstart company called MECW and whether it can become something close to a legitimate company. I imagine LOTS of writers are glad this new company got started... must be boring talking about the WWF over and over again.
Art Martinez's Lyrical Stunt is back for week three. Art reminded me that his name is NOT "Al". Dude, I can't even get the name of that Smackdown spoiler guy who pissed on everything about the show from the moment he turned his TV set on.... "Tom", "Todd", "Haywood"?
But seriously, give the guy credit... if I tried to format a lengthy column into poetic form, I'd go nuts and start doing nutty things.... like believing 16 year old girls who swear they went to Cornell University. (inside joke). Art obviously has talent.
Finally... this week's 411's Showcase Commentary 08.06.01 (HAPPY, WIDRO??? THERE'S YOUR DATE!!!) is... well...
I cannot stress this enough.... the Showcase column this week is DEFINITELY the finest piece of writing I have ever read on the web... INCLUDING anything I've ever done.
It's another wrestling tale from Joshua Grut, it's called Mr. Rodriguez Helped. I swear, it is phenomenal. You have never read anything like it. You WILL be blown away. I was.
This marks the first time I've chosen two columns in a row from the same guy... it will be the last, because Widro picked him up as a 411 writer. He's on the team now... and EVERYBODY, ESPECIALLY yours truly has to work extra hard. The standard of quality has just gone up a notch here at 411.... and I couldn't be happier. WE F-ING ROCK!!!!!!
Okay... let’s wrap it up with the Monday tradition...
ACROSS THE BOARDS
Well, the plan was to grab quotes from 5 or 6 all new sites.
The problem is, I couldn't FIND 5 or 6 sites. I found 2 new ones.
WELL, I DID try some Delphi forums... but after surfing through three of them, it became clear that your typical delphi Forum is still geekoid central. Nothing much to pull there.
So, I went to the A1 board... which ROCKED, Janitor does a great job controlling the sheeit there, the Lord of Pain board, which was pretty good too, then went with 411 and some Slash board stuff... check it out... I say it's just as good as that TOA board.... and with more people.
All my exploration yielded one vital fact... EVERYONE hates 1wrestling. Which is why I don't anymore. It's fun to defend them.
Oh, and everyone hates X-Pac too... I haven't decided where I stand on the little X-Pecker yet.
Anyway, here you go:
"Swallow a bag of hell."
"I haven't seen Nitro in a while...is it still really bad?"
"you would be lucky to even get a mention on Hyattee's message board quoting portion on a fan site that bums off other fan sites about wrestling."
(Hyatte's Note: What the hell is this douchebag yammering about?)
"Hopefully (MECW will) succeed. I wouldn't mind having another wrestling show to watch since there hasn't been Nitro or Chunder in months. Only wrestling I see every week is RAW, Smackdown, and NWA Wildside, 5 hours a week just ain't enough for a wrestling fiend like me.
"i would be remissed if were not to mention norman smiley. keep in mind shiavone referred to him as having one of the best physiques in the business. plus he had the big wiggle. ernest miller was 3 time world karate champion too, so dont tell me he isnt great. tell his momma."
"i expected dreamer to job to cole's gotee halfway up the ramp."
"Please f**king fire Lillian Garcia. I rather listen to Stephanie screech out each name than hear her f**k everything up like JR on a bender. She called Kanyon WCW "Jewess" Champion. WHAT THE F**K?!!"
"He told Debra to bake those heinous cookies. Although it tastes bad, Austin knows Rock is deep down a decent fella so as to not offend Debra, he'll eat those cookies. And BOOM, the Rock is in the crapper for 3 days and Austin one ups the Rock again."
"Limp Bizkit recorded the perfect theme song for Jerry Lawler. The title was, 'I Did It All for the Nookie.' That sums it up perfectly."
"I know that X-Pac is a designated 'Smart' whipping boy and the hip thing to say is how much he sucks and that he should even have a job. But anyone that persists in still believing that has been watching the last five months of WWF TV with their 'X-Pac Sucks' blinders on. The fact is that, since his return from injury, X-Pac has consistently delivered some of the top matches on Raw and Smackdown week in and week out."
"Sorry to say this buddy but get ready for a major ass chewing from everyone on this board. You see it's their dream to suck HHH's balls for a living. Just thought I'd warn ya."
"Enough of this CRAP about Goldberg. If the guy is being a weenie, first of all, it's only because he knows he's a cheap SCSA rip-off, and we're ALREADY dealing with a cheap SCSA ripoff....SCSA himself!! Second of all, if the whinybaby wants too much cash, then Vince should just hire Vin Diesel (Pitch Black, Fast and Furious), grow the man a goatee, and give him a spear finisher."
"I spent my 666th post defending X Pac. The irony is staggering."
"Now Stacy Carter and Chyna can consummate their quasi-lesbian relationship, and Jerry Lawler can go back to soliciting sex from underage broads."
"Hopefully, Jerry will learn from this, go back to announcing, and say to Vince 'You're still an asshole, but I was wrong for pushing my talentless prostitute on you. I am sorry'."
"What if the 2 hour Saturday Night show was a type of "Greatest Hits" thing? With the WWF owning WCW's library and hopefully ECW's soon enough they could put together some amazing packages."
"all of thus 'UT vs. WCW Lockerroom. Winner = UT' crap is ridiculous. 2 on 10. Unless the 10 are paraplegic midgets, the 10 win. This isn't some Ninja Movie here. Yeah, it's fake too, but UT doesn't have a Samurai Sword(Damn, that'd be pretty cool). All he has, is his wheels(Motorcycle), his Hammers(Fists), and his Magic Bag of Bones(Sara)."
"I think people are jealous of his beard and his bandana. Oh, and the kicks. You jealous bastards need to lay off X-Pac."
"I will NEVER GET MARRIED. I WORK HARD FOR MY SHIT, AND ILL BE DAMMED IF ILL LET SOME GREEDY BITCH TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME! Whew, sorry, I'm a good guy, really."
"Here's a newsflash: A 'smart' wrestling fan is a guy who reads up on it on the internet. A guy who proclaims from the roof-tops about how he's a "smart" and everyone else on the planet is a 'mark' is usually an acne-infested, Marilyn Manson t-shirt wearing loser who's pushing 300 lbs. and will never kiss a girl. Ever. Don't be that guy. Just enjoy the TV show. And relax with the blow-job stuff. There's easier ways to get a job, man."
"Booker T is highly talented and is a gifted wrestler. His mic skills are his only weakness in my opinion and there not that bad."
"Remember, 98% of males masterbate, 2% don't have arms."
"Also Bad New Brown is the sh*t or at least Andre the Giant is sh*tting on him."
"And you still suck ass..."
"I genuinely want to know why some people like Kane. He's not a good peformer in any way and his gimmick is what makes wrestling an embarrasment to so many people. And if anyone replies with "cos he's big and strong" I swear you're queer. Even if youre a girl."
"Sign the petition to change Stone Cold's finisher to the Green Mist."
"Ugly face...Nice body..hum I would still pump her mouth full of my man sauce."
"Hyatte's good, and we ALL know it. That's why even the people who send him death-threat e-mails always seem to come back and read him again."
"Todd Pettengill: No one should legally be allowed to hype up an In Your House PPV that much!!!"
"I believe the Bam Bam's career was ruined after losing to a crack head football player at Wrestlemania."
"the Yankees suck. Now lets all just continue watching baseball this year as the Yankees suck all the way to winning their 4th straight World Championship."
(Hyatte's Note: Nomar... Pedro... Nixon... Manny.... Bichette... Valentin... Everett... The Curse is OVER!!!!)
"Now, (X-Pac) will melt both (titles) together, and make them into a really cool bong, that him & RVD can share. It will be called 'The Atomic Bong'."
"I've already seen Undertaker take on 5-10 guys at once. What chance do DVon and Bubba have? None.. flip the channel."
"Man, that was a brilliant display for Taz. Not only did he get squashed, but it was SHOWCASED at the top of the hour."
"my 400th post! Only took me 11 months."
"Before the Invasion angle started, those of us familiar with WCW would have looked forward to a Rock/Booker T confrontation at Summerslam. Now, it's a forgone conclusion that it will be either a squash or a screwjob."
"Are you trying to say that there are black people in Harlem? Because that's unacceptable!"
"Billy Gunn has always reminded me a a young Lex Luger."
"And Billy (Gunn) is no more boring then The canadian cripple chris benoit. OH BUT I FORGOT HE HAS SKILL HA!"
"If I was HHH I'd be boning the freak out of Stephanie too"
"You mean spending about 80,000 on reconstructive surgery for her face, implants, and a sex change to get into the WWF and do a Playboy shoot isn't desperate? There's more to come? Oh my God."
"1wrestling is pimping MECW pretty damn hard for a promotion that currently has no TV deal and one wrestler. Something is definitely up there."
"The WWF OWNS the Gold Club! It was an elaborate plot to get Bischoff!"
"Why is the word 'little' twice as big as the word 'big'?
"You know in chariots of fire... I dont mean to sound like a queer or nothing but...UNICORNS KICK ASS!!!"
"I'm well into 600 posts in a little over a month."
"Debra's forhead is bigger than my driveway, and not paved nearly as well. Ugh."
"Just thought it was funny that (Lance Storm) made Angle bled hardway from something he did, since he's such a strong proponent of safe workers. Of course I think this means he moves up on the DVDVR 500."
"Hope Benoit comes back soon. I miss the lug."
"ok... someone please tell me this is a bad rumor meant to keep me awake tonight. the wwf can't possibly really want flair. i mean, who's more orange; him or hogan?? throw a couple of handles on and you've got some fine' leather luggage! i'm against anyone in wrestling that my grandmother can identify. at least in an active role."
"Has anyone noticed that DDP looks like Haley Mills from the original parent trap."
"Work is boring. Let's all go on welfare!"
"Austin is a shifty individual."
"Kanyon needs to be thrown from that WCW triple decker cage thing again.!!!!!!!!"
"Hall was currently wrestling in Japan and impressed many people. The last I heard was he is one of the 'hand shake' members of MECW."
"Don't forget Xanta Claus. Now THERE was a badass. He stole presents from children!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!"
"Whats the deal with Sabu is he just a prick? Is he blackballed or what?"
"I would just like to add for those who may not know or remember. Back at the Survivor Series 1990, there was a team called The Alliance. It consisted of Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, and The Bushwackers. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!"
"I'm Buddy Rogers and I'm classier than Booker T - who wants to touch me? I said who wants to fu**ing touch me!!"
"Just out of curiosity, how is grade school going?"
"I have absolutely no idea. Last I heard they expelled some idiot who thought they knew how to flame."
And... we are done.
PAULA ABDUL!!! WHY DIDN'T MTV PULL PAULA'S FAT ASS OUT OF MOTHBALLS FIOR THEIR BIG 20TH BASH OF SELF INDULGENCE???
"DO DO YOU LOVE ME DO DO YOU LOVE MEEEE BABY COMEONNOW... DO DO YOU LOVE ME DO DO YOU LOVE MEEE a'tell me baby!"
This is Hyatte